I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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