I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
