last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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