I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
