You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
