i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
