Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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