definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so let's talk penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
