I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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