so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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