She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
