i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
