He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
