it's great music for shaving your balls
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
