uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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