DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
