Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
