maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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