loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
