one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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