i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
