and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
