nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
