I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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