'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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