): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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