everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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