i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
