I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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