Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am mentally ready for anal.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
