Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm always down for nudity.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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