S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
