I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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