I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
