I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
