its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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