i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she peed on how many people?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i now understand why vodka
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
