you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
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Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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