Three words: puerto rican gang bang
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my shit smells like andre
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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