Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
