i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
