It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
