We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
