hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
