I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
