OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
