lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
