No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My ass is underappreciated
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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