So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
