you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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