you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize