I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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