Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
