i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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