Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize