There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
