I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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