My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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