Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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