The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
