Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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