Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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