Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
