Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
