We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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