that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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