so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
