I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he puts the penis in happiness.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
