this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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